When we consistently hold onto negative emotions towards someone and store them away they develop into grudges. When we let these grudges and unsolvedproblems build up they will naturally come out as resentment towards the other person.
Imagine that for every grudge you have against your partner you place a snowball into a bucket. If these problems go unresolved your bucket begins to get heavy and start overflowing. Before you know it you are triggered by something simple that
causes you to to start unleashing your snowballs. This can be in the form of verbal frustration often directed at your partner or someone else close to you.
Counselling can be an alternative to letting your bucket become so full. Those grudges that we’ve held onto fester inside of us and we can only hold onto them for so long. Choosing to let go and solve these built up problems can feel like a weight lifted off of your shoulders.
Recognize your Triggers
We may be unaware of these built up grudges and resentments, pay attention to how you feel and what simple things are pushing your buttons.
Recognize how it is Affecting you
How is this grudge creating suffering for you and the people you care about.
What does your reaction look like to the other person involved? Have you communicated how you feel? Is it fair for you to make assumptions that they understand your feelings?
Moving forward, how can you choose to prevent this problem in the future? How can you choose to be proactive vs reactive?