Emotions carry messages, Anger is one that we cannot overlook! From a screaming rage to instinctive feelings to avoid pain, anger serves a purpose. In a society driven by the “pleasure principle”, how do we recognize healthy anger as opposed to a feeling that leaves us riddled with guilt, fear, and shame? Many of my clients describe their anger as escalating from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye, or blacking out from a fit of rage, even projecting anger onto those closest to us. Regardless of how anger develops, anger management treatment can help you regain control of your actions & reactions, especially with those you love most, including yourself.
Anger serves a purpose, that’s why we have it. Trying to bury it will only make it fester when we least expect it. Embracing our defense mechanisms keeps us safe. For example, a mother who screams at her child for running into the road after their ball may present as angry, but what’s under that? Fear and other emotions lay beneath the surface, waiting to be recognized. Exploring anger opens the door to memories, emotions, and challenges, but if you’re here, it may be time to address the role of anger in your life.
We know anger serves us well, yet it can hinder our relationships. You may have identifiable triggers that set you off or perhaps deeper silent indicators that spark something from deep within. Gaining awareness of your anger is important. Learning to identify thoughts, feelings, triggers, and associated behaviors are part of the process to understanding your relationship with anger. Acknowledging triggers & emotional wounds enable us to build healthy communication skills, developing effective ways to discover what we’re looking for from others.
Ever find you explode with anger, leaving a wake of eruptions that you regret? Does feeling out of control and at a loss with your words and behavior leave you feeling that others may have an inaccurate picture of who you are? Are those closest to you standing back? People at work give you space? Children asking why you’re so mad? “Seeing red”, throwing things, fantasizing about acting on your anger may temporarily quelch those feelings, but over time, people notice and walk with trepidation in your presence.
Learning to respect your anger as an indicator can help you find new ways to cope and change your responses, reactions, and free you to find new healthy ways of communication. Over time, incorporating your new tools can leave others yearning for your company, and grateful from your ability to voice topics and concerns with measurable results and feedback. Working with us will help you develop your anger into a secondary, well-understood emotion while embracing your primary feelings that are often below surface level.
What I expect from you
The journey of individual counselling with a therapist may provoke a multitude of feelings. I recognize that you’re experiencing challenges and in a tough place in life right now, and I’m grateful that you’re reaching out for help right now.
That said, I expect you to make a serious commitment from yourself in our work together. I expect you to dedicate yourself to be open to learning, growing, and yearning for feedback as it directly relates to your role in life. I expect you to lower your defenses and communicate when you feel defensive, and to commit to changing the behaviors and patterns that are hindering your growth. Meeting these conditions gives us the opportunity to discover who you are under the defensive shield of anger.